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The sound of gas powered yard tools

October 25th, 2005

this weekend reminded me I ought to post this in case any of you ever forgot how shitty Cary is..
This is pretty old, but its a fucking riot..

So I went out to Arizona to see a friend for a few days. When I get back in the mail I have a
certified letter waiting.. So I go and pick it up that afternoon at the post office and this is what I got..

What so funny about all of this is that I had mowed my lawn
before I left and the grass was still 6 inches (well within the 8 inch limit stated above).. I also had 3 days left to fix the yard and I had no idea what
the fuck was wrong since its a vague as shit form letter.. I called up the worthless town of Cary and decided I would be nice instead of initially saying
“What the hell is your problem.. Do you have so little important to do that you mail out letters about lawns not being up to snuff?”..

I end up
leaving a message for some assclown there and finally the next day I get a call back.. He says he has no idea what is wrong with my lawn, but that I was
on “his list”.. (Think of L7 – Shitlist).. I tell him I really need to know whats wrong becasue I want to fix it so I don’t have to deal with this
bullshit again.. We go back and forth on that a few times, and then I ask “So how does the town of Cary determine what properties get letters? Neighbors,
The Cops, or do you pay people to drive around and look at yards”.. I figured I was just being a smart ass, but he told me “Well sir actually its all of
the above..”, to which I ask him “So you are teling me the town of Cary actually PAYS people to drive around looking at yards?”, and he tells me that is
the case..

So at this point I am starting to get mad and tell him that if he can’t tell me whats wrong with my yard I will just make a guess and
if thats not good enough that I am not going to pay for whatever yard service they provide for a minumum fee of $100.. I also tell him that I really don’t
know if I will be able to get it fixed by the deadline becaue its raining and that I was on vacation the last few days.. He then tells me in a very joking
way “Sure sure you were on vacation”.. At which point I say “Listen you spent my tax dollars to send me this stupid letter about my yard certified and you
don’t know when I picked it up at the post office?”.. At any rate then he was appologetic.. I pulled a few weeds out of my yard a few days later and
never heard back from them..

Moral of the story.. NEVER LIVE IN CARY unless you are a yard nazi and have no soul.. It also was the final straw
that said there was no way I could keep my sanity and live here any longer.. Now I just have to finish up my remodeling projets and sell this place..

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