Archive for October, 2006

Henry Ford you can kiss my ass

October 31st, 2006 Comments off

So with my new job I tend to have to drive to Charlotte a ton.. I think I have developed road rage..
Pretty much 6 hours a week of my time looks something along the lines of this..

Today (which is my 3rd trip to Charlotte in the last 3 business days) I was getting
really pissed at folks driving slow in the fast lane.. I thought how great it would really be to have my insult monkey.. If you aren’t familar with my
concept of an insult monkey it goes something like this..

Originally I talked about having a helper monkey much like that episode of friends.. Yeah
I just mentioned friends.. Don’t ask why I have seen that episode or show.. Anyway I figured a helper monkey could scribble notes on large pieces of paper
(sounds like Brak there eh?) and hold up signs to the drivers that I want to say something to.. This way I could be more effective than just staring
through them, or flippign them off.. I could say stuff more effective like:

“Bitch don’t flick your flithy cigarette butt litter at my


“Just cause your on your cell phone doesn’t mean you can drive 1/2 the speed limit”

I was driving back to Greensboro this
afternoon actually thinking about this blog and if I had any other great insults for irritating drivers.. I started to realize I had been driving too
much.. In about a month I have put 1200 miles on this company car.. Thats a ton of trips to Charlotte and back.. Low and behold i whip around a curve on
I85 after being on the interstate for maybe 5 minutes and I see a trooper just sitting there.. I look at my speedometer.. 85 mph.. There is no one around
me and I am in the fast lane.. Busted.. So now I got a second ticket.. Hopefully my first one will go away since it was for 44 in a 45 mile/hour zone, but
still I am pissed.. I have to go to court in Charlotte at the end of November.. It’s mandatory.. I guess cause I was going 23 miles over the posted speed
limit (I was ticketed as 83 in a 60).. Either way I hate the car.. I wonder what my car insurance will start to cost with this doosey on my record in a

My boss also called me on my way back to Greensboro and there may be some HR crap I have to deal with cause I got a ticket in a company
vehicle.. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a 2 tickets automatic termination policy anymore.. Maybe i’ll have to pee in a cup.. Who knows.. We shall

P.S. I swear my next blog will be about something more positive.. Like bacon.. Everyone loves bacon..

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Mr Jacob.. Tear down this wall!

October 20th, 2006 Comments off

So I have talked about it, but I finally took the photos off of my camera.. I still gotta get the
Scarowinds photos off of my other camera but I left it at Sheilas..

So about 2 weeks ago I got a construction dumpster delivered to my new place,
ripped out a wall, and the carpet.. Today I have been taking down the popcorn ceiling, and in an effort to slack I decided the best thing to do was hit up
myspace and blog even..

The wall I took out was added in the 50s I think the previos owner told me.. Anyway the thing was not structural and made 2
weird shaped rooms out of what was one awesome room.. Perfect for dance parties or what not.. It had really thin drywall so I just kicked it all to
oblivion and then ripped out the framing.. The photos are extra cool though.. Maybe an animated gif would be best here?



gone now..

Once I got the rest of the framing out I took out all the nasty carpet in the house..

Carpet up, staples still everywhere.. I think it took Sheila and I a day at most to get
them all pulled up.. The floors are in pretty good shape, but they need a good sanding and re-finishing..

So this is where I am so far with taking down the popcorn.. It’s super messy and really
gross.. I am making good progress now that I have a garden sprayer to wet the ceiling down..

So this is most of hte crap I ended up putting in the dumpster..

Like my neighbor
said.. “It’s a shame you buy a new house and then you go and throw half of it away”..

So kids until next time there is my adventures in
fixer-uppers.. Maybe next time I will have plaster washers here and can start fixing the walls.. I’m gonna need a drink tonight after I am done with this
sloppy mess..

Categories: Grayland House Tags:

A million pitchers of beer on the wall..

October 13th, 2006 Comments off

I haven’t blogged in forever.. I have been meaning to, but the internet just hasn’t been as accessible
as normal in the last while.. I got some downtime at work and i’m inspired so i’m typing to you all from my lovely vibrating 4th floor office near the
Greensboro airport.. yes I said vibrating.. This building has this weird vibration most of the time, but its my new office so I gotta deal with it I

First things first.. My house in Cary is finally on the market.. So far there have been two showings on the first day.. Sheila and I have
a bet going on when I will get a offer.. If its within the first week I owe Sheila a pitcher, if its in 2 weeks then I get a free pitcher.. After that I
guess we will re-wager or call it off.. Either way I have decided I will never live in the burbs again.. Ever.. I still have my “your grass is too high”
letter from the town of cary that will be framed as a reminder of my moment of weakness and insanity so that I never repeat it.. Who said that those who
forget history are doomed to repeat it?

I closed on my house here in Greensboro a week ago or so.. I already ripped out a wall, I got more walls I
want to take out but i gotta get a structural engineer to look at those first.. I ripped out all the old carpet, and the old lady smell went along with
it.. All my neighbors are relaly nice.. Well except for the one guy, Barry.. My first conversation with him went something like this..

Barry: Hey I
guess you bought this house?
Me: Yep
Barry: Well I was going to buy it for my girlfriend but the old lady was asking way too much.. I am Barry..
Good to meet you
Me: Your a fucking idiot.. (No thats what I wanted to say)..

Then he proceeded to talk to me for 45 minutes while I was trying
to get outta there..

So yeah walls are coming down.. I got a big ‘ole dumpster in the driveway.. Sly now lives with me in Greensboro and he isn’t
really too happy about it right now..

I’ll post some photos soon..

So far I have completed around 7.5% of my MBA (3 credit hours).. Thats
Masters in Business Administration for those who don’t know.. I am getting really tired of people asking me “So what are you getting your MBA in?”.. Do
they not know what it stands for? So far I have reverted to my slacker ways, but since the material is a good deal easier than say Electromagnetics,
Statics or Differential Equations my grades don’t reflect my slackerness.. I got a B in my accounting class, and an A- in my ethics class.. Yeah for those
that are wondering I somehow do have it in me to think ethicly.. School is cool even if 2/3 of the folks I go to school with are really boring people..

It has come to my attention there is no place to buy CDs in Greensboro.. The Record Exchange here is gone, and the other CD shop that was on Tate
street is gone.. I picked up the new Beck (Freakin’ great) and Outkast (Alright) at Schoolkids Monday when I was back in Raleigh.. Where do all the
college kids at UNCG, A&T, and Greensboro College get their music? Is iTunes that popular now? Do they only listen to shit that they sell at Best Buy?

The election is coming up.. I forgot to check the box “yes I am an American citizen” so I almost missed my chance to register, thankfully I got it
back in in time to fix my error.. I was really excited about getting to vote against Vernon Robinson.. Yeah the wonderful man who brought us such
wonderful quotes as
“If Brad Miller had it his way America would be one big fiesta for illegal aliens and homosexuals” represents part of Greensboro.. Just not my part..

Can you say Gerrymandering? If I lived 500 feet to the south I would be able to vote against black jesse, but
alas I do not.. His ads are so horrible and its hard to believe they are real, it seems like something SNL would make.. If you live in the 13th district
(Yeah it covers most of Raleigh too) please please vote against this bigot.. I can’t but I know some of you can..

I also got given a new job at
work.. The title is called “Traffic Engineer” meaning I am supposed to deal with properly planing the capacity of our network.. The title should actually
be something more like “Corporate Whipping Boy” or “Overlord of Counting”.. So far all I have done is play with virtually worthless Excel sheets and sit
on all day conference calls where people talk about each item on a spreadsheet line by line.. Hopefully it will get better, but so far its a bunch of
“make this report for us now and i need it yesterday”.. With my new position I also have to work in Charlotte twice a week, but I get a company car for
that so it’s not all bad.. Just the radio stations between Greensboro and Charlotte.. Well they leave a good deal to be desired.. Thank god for mp3

The Accord is under the weather, and my tools are still in Raleigh so eventually I’ll get her fixed.. I think the shifter cable broke..
During Sheilas finger removal incident of a week or two ago I lost the ability to shift into 2,4 and R.. Then a few miles later I lost 1,3 and 5.. When I
am back in Raleigh this weekend I am going to get my jackstands and tools so I can see about fixing her back up instead of driving my truck all the time..

I am sure there is more stuff I am leaving out, but thats what I have been up to for the last while.. 10 Dollar pitchers Thursday nights at
M’Couls in downtown Greensboro rocks.. Nothing like 2 pitchers of Bass to get the evening started out right, then the obligitary walk to College Hill to
get more beer before going to bed at 230am only to have to be at work at 8am.. My new job is making me a lush (again)..

Until next time have fun

If I decide to go to the Barristers Ball maybe i’ll see some of you guys.. If not well.. Who knows.. Thanksgiving or Christmas maybe?

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