Taylor’s Blog

at least thats what my brilliant neighbors would try to convince me.. About a week ago I noticed that
my water meter was filled up with water to the top.. I thought it might have been rain runoff since it had rained very heavily the day before.. I fished
it out, and checked my meter.. My meter was not going up, and the water didn’t come back 10-15 minutes later when I checked.. I dismissed it, and thought
nothing more of it..

The next day i noticed there was a very soggy spot in my yard, and then I checked my water meter.. Sure enough it was full of water again..

I then went back to the soggy spot, and noticed that it was only in a few places in my yard, but i followed what seemed to be a path of sog, and it turned
out that my neighbors entire side yard was one complete soggy mess.. I then checked their water meter and sure enough theirs was filled up with water as
well.. I noticed theirs wasn’t going up, so I figured weather it was my connection or theirs it was clearly a break on the cities side.. Simple.. I
figured since it was mostly in my neighbors yard, and their yard is elevated above mine by a bit it was their responsibility..

I have never liked these neighbors.. She is a real estate agent, he is some computer looser who runs some lame-o fix it computer business, but hey what
can you do.. I wasn’t asked if I liked them when they were thinking about buying the house..

I figured I would be nice and leave them a note saying that their water main most likely was broken, and their yard was very soggy.. I also noted that
their water meter as well as mine was full to the brim with water.. Simple right?

Later that night I get a phone call from my neighbors.. This is where the fun starts.. He told me that he had noticed that the yard was a bit soft, but
that he was 100 ositive it was the work of a mole.. I then said “how can you be sure? What about the water in our water meters?”.. He proceeded to
tell me how he would be putting out a mole trap, and the issue would be taken care of.. I tried to argue with him that no mole could possibly make his
entire yard like a sponge, but he apparently was too brain dead to be able to differentiate between a tunnel underground weaking soil vs. water saturating
it to the point that it became like a sponge.. This is where I figured that maybe he was right, and it was the work of some super moles who can urinate
10000x thier body weight in a day.. I wish I had gotten a photo of the mole trap he put out.. I also am no animal expert,but don’t moles make lots of
holes in the top of a yard?

I just went out to check one more time before i call the city, and sure enough the super moles have been a-pissin some more..

This picture is from where I took a step in his yard.. Clearly the work of moles.. Granted it rained all day, but it was exactly the same 3-4 days ago
before all the rain started.. So tomorrow I will be calling the city since my inbred neighbors are going to stick with the mole theory.. I figure I ought
to do that before my house falls into the sink hole that they are trying to create..

this weekend reminded me I ought to post this in case any of you ever forgot how shitty Cary is..
This is pretty old, but its a fucking riot..

So I went out to Arizona to see a friend for a few days. When I get back in the mail I have a
certified letter waiting.. So I go and pick it up that afternoon at the post office and this is what I got..

What so funny about all of this is that I had mowed my lawn
before I left and the grass was still 6 inches (well within the 8 inch limit stated above).. I also had 3 days left to fix the yard and I had no idea what
the fuck was wrong since its a vague as shit form letter.. I called up the worthless town of Cary and decided I would be nice instead of initially saying
“What the hell is your problem.. Do you have so little important to do that you mail out letters about lawns not being up to snuff?”..

I end up
leaving a message for some assclown there and finally the next day I get a call back.. He says he has no idea what is wrong with my lawn, but that I was
on “his list”.. (Think of L7 – Shitlist).. I tell him I really need to know whats wrong becasue I want to fix it so I don’t have to deal with this
bullshit again.. We go back and forth on that a few times, and then I ask “So how does the town of Cary determine what properties get letters? Neighbors,
The Cops, or do you pay people to drive around and look at yards”.. I figured I was just being a smart ass, but he told me “Well sir actually its all of
the above..”, to which I ask him “So you are teling me the town of Cary actually PAYS people to drive around looking at yards?”, and he tells me that is
the case..

So at this point I am starting to get mad and tell him that if he can’t tell me whats wrong with my yard I will just make a guess and
if thats not good enough that I am not going to pay for whatever yard service they provide for a minumum fee of $100.. I also tell him that I really don’t
know if I will be able to get it fixed by the deadline becaue its raining and that I was on vacation the last few days.. He then tells me in a very joking
way “Sure sure you were on vacation”.. At which point I say “Listen you spent my tax dollars to send me this stupid letter about my yard certified and you
don’t know when I picked it up at the post office?”.. At any rate then he was appologetic.. I pulled a few weeds out of my yard a few days later and
never heard back from them..

Moral of the story.. NEVER LIVE IN CARY unless you are a yard nazi and have no soul.. It also was the final straw
that said there was no way I could keep my sanity and live here any longer.. Now I just have to finish up my remodeling projets and sell this place..

After they argued about money and lost and entire season the NHL is finally back.. I got to watch
“history in the making” according to the moronic announcers on TSN last night.. The Leafs and Sens had the first shootout to decide a game.. What was SO
wrong with a tie? It seems so sacrilegious. Why do they have to keep fucking up the game?

On a positive note I finally watched hockey in HD! Man that shit rocks! If anyone wants to come over drink and see some hockey in HD with me anytime let
me know..

It’s been over a
month (Almost 6 weeks now actually) since I quit smoking and ever since I have been getting crap in the mail constantly from Camel. I have gotten a
package from Camel everyday since Wednesday (Money Clip), Thursday (Cool ass Cigarette Case), Friday (Matches), Saturday (Plastic Shot Glasses), Sunday
(No mail cause of Jebus), Monday (Another Money Clip), Tuesday (More Plastic Shot Glasses).. I also have gotten a few things from Marlboro as well.. I
NEVER got anything in the 12 years I did smoke from anyone by mail.. Why all the sudden? Maybe I only qualified for 6 of those years since I wasn’t a
“smoker 21 or over”, but still.. I gave my ID to the Camel guys at Jackpot over 3-4 months ago, so why all the sudden did they start now? I gave my ID to
the Marlboro guys when I was in Charlotte over Christmas last year and they too all the sudden decide to send me crap? It’s like they know.. Those
f*ckers.. It’s not like their silly little games are going to get me to start smoking again.. I have got enough coupons now to buy over a carton with 1.75
off each pack.. I already gave half of the coupons away to my buddy Ed.. I swear.. Why the hell is tobacco legal when weed isn’t? Quitting smoking had to
be the hardest thing I ever have done, and these f*ckers are trying to get me to revert..