Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

Is Greensboro one large trashcan?

January 4th, 2007 Comments off

So one thing I noticed almost as soon as I moved here was how stinking dirty the streets are,
especially around UNCG.. Tate street seems to be used as a trash can by all.. Cups in the gutter when a trash recepticle is 20 feet away.. It’s not like
some places in europe where the trashcans were removed cause of the threat of hiding bombs in them.. Trashcans are everywhere, but for some reason many
people fail to use them.. Oh and lets not forget the lovely used condom in the Target parking lot.. I wonder what the empolyees do on their break?

Today was the clencher.. Driving to work.. Battleground and Benjamin Parkway.. Some bitch throws out a huge McDonalds (or similar fast food bag)
right into the road.. I was in the other lane maybe 20 feet behind her.. What gives? Is it that freakin’ hard to wait till you get where you are going and
throw it away, or do like many folks I know and toss it in the in-car trashcan known as the back seat? Come on folks.. Raleigh knows how to keep it
clean.. Why are you so behind the times Greensboro?

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More analysis of a world class city

December 7th, 2006 Comments off

So I have been in Charlotte for work for the last 7 days.. (Well Wed-Fri last week, and then Since
Monday this week).. I have started to go insane again.. Part of it is derived from staying with my parents.. Some of it is related to this city in

I was reading an article in the Charlotte Observer this morning that
stated how Charlotte was second behind Las Vegas in attracting the “Young and Restless” group of people to live there.. This is the label they gave to
young professional 25-34 year olds.. Yuppies is what I call them, but I guess “Young and Restless” works too.. Whatever.. It talked about how this one guy
moved to Charlotte cause it was so much cheaper than San Diego (where he wanted to live), and how he had a 325k house.. He worked for Ernst and Young so I
am sure his banking job is really cool.. The article was poorly written and it sounded like the only thing going for Charlotte is the Panthers, Bobcats,
and “cheap” Housing.. There is a tad more to the article, but its not much more..

So I say to my mom “Wow this article just reinforces why
Charlotte has nothing to offer me”.. Then she goes into this tailspin argument that ends with “And if we lived somewhere else you still wouldn’t come see
us”, gets furious with me.. You know one of the many reasons why I love coming home.. Of course I pick fights at 730 in the morning.. While she was
yelling I muttered under my breath “Jesus Fucking Christ”, and my mom says something along the lines of “I don’t think Jesus needs to be fucked!” and then
something else about god, etc.. Yeah mom believes in Jebus.. Sometimes I forget that..

Who my mom needs to belive in is me.. I am like jesus.. I
put my dead iPod back together yesterday morning and it started working again.. So I am happily listening to my iLazarus now.. Hopefully it will keep
plugging along..

One thing I did realize about Charlotte that is setting itself up for failure that I hadn’t realized before.. This entire towns
economy is based on Banking and pretty much nothing else.. When banking moves to China or someplace else cause its cheaper to do it overseas than in the
US this place will collapse.. Atlanta as much as I hate it has some diversity of businesses.. NYC, Chicago, and other large cities they all are
diversified.. Charlotte is as stable as say Pittsburg, Buffalo were in the past.. They were boom towns until Steel went overseas.. The market changed well
they went in the shitter.. Banking moving to China is somethign i expect to happen in my lifetime.. It’s called globalization.. Any american who thinks
it isnt going to happen is a fool.. We have far too much money in this country, it costs way too much to live here compared to the rest of the world.. Why
would any business stay here when you can replace all the bankers in this country with laborers who will take 1/10th the salary..

Tonight I am
going to see Spamalot with Sheila and my parents.. I am so excited.. I finally get to see Sheila for
the first time in what seems like an enternity.. I am pretty sure I am in withdrawl from my drug of choice (Sheila) so I get to see her.. Monty Python
will be great.. Laughter is the best medecine.. It also means I have one day left in Charlotte, and my sanity can return when I leave the Charlotte Metro

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An open letter

November 30th, 2006 Comments off

For those of you who haven’t heard the story here is a brief synopsis.. Thanksgiving night 3am..
Sheila and I are sleeping and get awoken by a screech of tires followed by a crazy crash.. We contemplate getting up, but don’t.. We do exchange a few
words like “Someone’s car just got fucked”.. About 5 minutes after the crash we hear the screech of tires.. We get up in the morning to catch the train
for Charlotte and it turns out 2 peoples cars did get fucked.. One was Sheilas volvo who only was dented not imobilized, and Sheila’s upstairs neighbors
volvo was rendered undrivable.. The asshole after hitting those 2 cars then crashed into the telephone pole across the street..

Dear Drunk Piece of Shit,

It has
been close to a week now since you ran into 2 innocent parked cars and then ended up in that telephone pole.. The cops aren’t going to come looking for
you most likely even if they have your drivers side mirror.. We have your headlight, but we have no idea where to find you..

You should understand
that if I did find you I might want to be quite violent which I typically am not.. Not because you hit 2 cars.. But because you have just proven once
again why not to drink and drive.. Sheila and I walk down that street all the time at night.. If its after midnight chances are we are not in a state to
drive and have chosen a safer alternative to driving drunk.. Walking.. If its not someplace in walking distance we take a cab.. You on the other hand
decided it was OK to endanger other peoples lives.. Not just mine, but all the other people who constantly walk in Sheila’s neighborhood..

I really
hope that you cracked your colar bone or hip or something else when you hit the telephone pole so maybe you can remember that driving drunk is a stupid
idea.. I really wish I had goten up and drug you from your car, called the cops and let you blow what clearly had to be WAY over the legal limit.. It
would have been sweet not only to have you paying to repair the 2 cars, but also to see your license taken away for a long time.. Driving drunk is
stupid.. I have friends with DUIs and they can tell you how stupid it is too..

You better not come around again,


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Henry Ford you can kiss my ass

October 31st, 2006 Comments off

So with my new job I tend to have to drive to Charlotte a ton.. I think I have developed road rage..
Pretty much 6 hours a week of my time looks something along the lines of this..

Today (which is my 3rd trip to Charlotte in the last 3 business days) I was getting
really pissed at folks driving slow in the fast lane.. I thought how great it would really be to have my insult monkey.. If you aren’t familar with my
concept of an insult monkey it goes something like this..

Originally I talked about having a helper monkey much like that episode of friends.. Yeah
I just mentioned friends.. Don’t ask why I have seen that episode or show.. Anyway I figured a helper monkey could scribble notes on large pieces of paper
(sounds like Brak there eh?) and hold up signs to the drivers that I want to say something to.. This way I could be more effective than just staring
through them, or flippign them off.. I could say stuff more effective like:

“Bitch don’t flick your flithy cigarette butt litter at my


“Just cause your on your cell phone doesn’t mean you can drive 1/2 the speed limit”

I was driving back to Greensboro this
afternoon actually thinking about this blog and if I had any other great insults for irritating drivers.. I started to realize I had been driving too
much.. In about a month I have put 1200 miles on this company car.. Thats a ton of trips to Charlotte and back.. Low and behold i whip around a curve on
I85 after being on the interstate for maybe 5 minutes and I see a trooper just sitting there.. I look at my speedometer.. 85 mph.. There is no one around
me and I am in the fast lane.. Busted.. So now I got a second ticket.. Hopefully my first one will go away since it was for 44 in a 45 mile/hour zone, but
still I am pissed.. I have to go to court in Charlotte at the end of November.. It’s mandatory.. I guess cause I was going 23 miles over the posted speed
limit (I was ticketed as 83 in a 60).. Either way I hate the car.. I wonder what my car insurance will start to cost with this doosey on my record in a

My boss also called me on my way back to Greensboro and there may be some HR crap I have to deal with cause I got a ticket in a company
vehicle.. I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a 2 tickets automatic termination policy anymore.. Maybe i’ll have to pee in a cup.. Who knows.. We shall

P.S. I swear my next blog will be about something more positive.. Like bacon.. Everyone loves bacon..

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A million pitchers of beer on the wall..

October 13th, 2006 Comments off

I haven’t blogged in forever.. I have been meaning to, but the internet just hasn’t been as accessible
as normal in the last while.. I got some downtime at work and i’m inspired so i’m typing to you all from my lovely vibrating 4th floor office near the
Greensboro airport.. yes I said vibrating.. This building has this weird vibration most of the time, but its my new office so I gotta deal with it I

First things first.. My house in Cary is finally on the market.. So far there have been two showings on the first day.. Sheila and I have
a bet going on when I will get a offer.. If its within the first week I owe Sheila a pitcher, if its in 2 weeks then I get a free pitcher.. After that I
guess we will re-wager or call it off.. Either way I have decided I will never live in the burbs again.. Ever.. I still have my “your grass is too high”
letter from the town of cary that will be framed as a reminder of my moment of weakness and insanity so that I never repeat it.. Who said that those who
forget history are doomed to repeat it?

I closed on my house here in Greensboro a week ago or so.. I already ripped out a wall, I got more walls I
want to take out but i gotta get a structural engineer to look at those first.. I ripped out all the old carpet, and the old lady smell went along with
it.. All my neighbors are relaly nice.. Well except for the one guy, Barry.. My first conversation with him went something like this..

Barry: Hey I
guess you bought this house?
Me: Yep
Barry: Well I was going to buy it for my girlfriend but the old lady was asking way too much.. I am Barry..
Good to meet you
Me: Your a fucking idiot.. (No thats what I wanted to say)..

Then he proceeded to talk to me for 45 minutes while I was trying
to get outta there..

So yeah walls are coming down.. I got a big ‘ole dumpster in the driveway.. Sly now lives with me in Greensboro and he isn’t
really too happy about it right now..

I’ll post some photos soon..

So far I have completed around 7.5% of my MBA (3 credit hours).. Thats
Masters in Business Administration for those who don’t know.. I am getting really tired of people asking me “So what are you getting your MBA in?”.. Do
they not know what it stands for? So far I have reverted to my slacker ways, but since the material is a good deal easier than say Electromagnetics,
Statics or Differential Equations my grades don’t reflect my slackerness.. I got a B in my accounting class, and an A- in my ethics class.. Yeah for those
that are wondering I somehow do have it in me to think ethicly.. School is cool even if 2/3 of the folks I go to school with are really boring people..

It has come to my attention there is no place to buy CDs in Greensboro.. The Record Exchange here is gone, and the other CD shop that was on Tate
street is gone.. I picked up the new Beck (Freakin’ great) and Outkast (Alright) at Schoolkids Monday when I was back in Raleigh.. Where do all the
college kids at UNCG, A&T, and Greensboro College get their music? Is iTunes that popular now? Do they only listen to shit that they sell at Best Buy?

The election is coming up.. I forgot to check the box “yes I am an American citizen” so I almost missed my chance to register, thankfully I got it
back in in time to fix my error.. I was really excited about getting to vote against Vernon Robinson.. Yeah the wonderful man who brought us such
wonderful quotes as
“If Brad Miller had it his way America would be one big fiesta for illegal aliens and homosexuals” represents part of Greensboro.. Just not my part..

Can you say Gerrymandering? If I lived 500 feet to the south I would be able to vote against black jesse, but
alas I do not.. His ads are so horrible and its hard to believe they are real, it seems like something SNL would make.. If you live in the 13th district
(Yeah it covers most of Raleigh too) please please vote against this bigot.. I can’t but I know some of you can..

I also got given a new job at
work.. The title is called “Traffic Engineer” meaning I am supposed to deal with properly planing the capacity of our network.. The title should actually
be something more like “Corporate Whipping Boy” or “Overlord of Counting”.. So far all I have done is play with virtually worthless Excel sheets and sit
on all day conference calls where people talk about each item on a spreadsheet line by line.. Hopefully it will get better, but so far its a bunch of
“make this report for us now and i need it yesterday”.. With my new position I also have to work in Charlotte twice a week, but I get a company car for
that so it’s not all bad.. Just the radio stations between Greensboro and Charlotte.. Well they leave a good deal to be desired.. Thank god for mp3

The Accord is under the weather, and my tools are still in Raleigh so eventually I’ll get her fixed.. I think the shifter cable broke..
During Sheilas finger removal incident of a week or two ago I lost the ability to shift into 2,4 and R.. Then a few miles later I lost 1,3 and 5.. When I
am back in Raleigh this weekend I am going to get my jackstands and tools so I can see about fixing her back up instead of driving my truck all the time..

I am sure there is more stuff I am leaving out, but thats what I have been up to for the last while.. 10 Dollar pitchers Thursday nights at
M’Couls in downtown Greensboro rocks.. Nothing like 2 pitchers of Bass to get the evening started out right, then the obligitary walk to College Hill to
get more beer before going to bed at 230am only to have to be at work at 8am.. My new job is making me a lush (again)..

Until next time have fun

If I decide to go to the Barristers Ball maybe i’ll see some of you guys.. If not well.. Who knows.. Thanksgiving or Christmas maybe?

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How can we ever forget?

September 12th, 2006 Comments off

Well yesterday I was pretty riled up about all the 9/11 “don’t forget”, “freedom ain’t free”, and “git
r dun” shit.. Now that has passed I really don’t seem as angry as I was yesterday.. I mean idiots are allowed to say whatever they want in this country
and well they sure did.. They needed to silence everyone about Katrina after the spike lee documentary on HBO, so what better way than 1000
documentaries on every channel imaginable about how the towers came down and innocent America was so haneously attacked.. Oh and we can drop gas prices a
ton too.. Could this have anything to do with elections are coming up.. Maybe? Just maybe? My favorite commercial I have seen so far is
for this asshole running for the congresional district that covers Greensboro.. It starts off with “Have you lost your job because an illegal immigrant
took it from you? Are you angry cause they aren’t even supposed to be here?”.. It goes on to talk about the “illegals” burning the flag, taking our
money, how they are all mexican criminals, and then how they spit on and insult us poor poor americans..

Maybe its a good thing I won’t have a
TV.. :)

Oh and I found a cool website yesterday where you can list all the places you have been,
reviews, where you want to go and what not.. You can also list personal goals and shit like that.. It’s kinda cool.. Its not the new wheel by any means..
Maybe its old news.. Who knows.. I thought it was bad ass looking at map of where i’ve been and where I want to go!

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Snap Yo Finga’s and other Casio Rapmaster Favorites

July 19th, 2006 Comments off

I need to preface this blog with the fact that most music that is on the radio these days (With the
exception of KNC at least in the triangle) is pretty much garbage..

For some reason Hip Hop has fallen to a level that is amazingly below what was
ever distinguishable as music.. Every other time I log out of myspace I get this jamster ad..

It includes such amazing (musiclly as asll we lyrically) tracks as “Lil Jon – Snap
Yo Fingas”, and “Chamillionare – Ridin’ Dirty”.. I don’t understand what it takes to get signed on a fucking label and make millions.. I mean come on
now.. Lets examine these lyrics..

“Snap Yo Fingas.. [Uninteligible garbage].. You can do it all by yo’ self..”

Yeah.. I mean what the fuck..
And the “music” that goes with it is quite amazing..

That ridin’ dirty song is terrible I heard it on 2 stations at the same time driving home,
probably why I decided to rant about this.. Whatever happened to decent hip hop? Pharcyde, Tribe, KRS-One, I mean come on now.. Is
coming up with decent lyrics that tell a story or something interesing that challenging? I mean is there anything to life other than talkin about
how hard you are compared to your competition..

50 Cent rolls with a fuckin’
casio rapmaster talking about who knows what about how hes some other rapers are “wankstas”.. I mean come on now.. Yeah maybe I had my ghetto pass taken
away a long ass time ago when I left West Charlotte, but I mean what gives.. One day my ears were assaulted by this song that took “screwed and chopped”
to a new level.. Some dude kept saying “Every day i’m hustlin’” and it was just looped over and over again.. WOW! That must have taken months to
come up with.. What amazing life story inspired you to come up with those lyrics.. I guess they are lyrics.. Does 4 words count? I guess “Snap yo’
Fingers” is 3 so yeah..

This has been going on for quite some time now.. Master P made an entire song about the grunts he makes while taking a
crap.. More like taking a shit on all hip hop in general..

I guess I should know better than to flip by G105 and K97.5 when driving home
expecting to hear anything other than trite garbage.. Ugghh…

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Airline Miles are a fucking Scam

April 16th, 2006 Comments off

I have 117k miles with US Airways, and 26k with Northwest.. I am trying to redeem them to get 2
tickets to my cousins wedding in August.. I want to go from RDU -> SEA, then from SFO->RDU.. I can’t get even one segment with Northwest.. That takes 50k
miles.. Apparently giving them $2000 a few years ago for flights to Rome, London (plus some work trips to Puerto Rico) doesn’t get me shit.. I need to
spend twice that to get one ticket.. Fuckers.. Some “deal” there..

So on to US Airways.. It turns out I can do it and burn up the bulk of my miles
(100k), but it seems crazy.. For 25k I am supposed to be able to do a trip in the US or Canada.. I have had those miles since I was a kid and some of
those transfered from Piedmont Airlines thats how old they are.. I have never been able to use them cause of poor dates, or “no seats”.. I guess this is
my one chance to finally burn those miles up, since I have a feeling they won’t be there for long.. One more bankruptcy and I bet they are

Sad thing is for $330 a ticket I can purchase the same trip from American on Travelocity.. I mean come on.. I guess they are not a scam
per-se, but it would be nice if I could actually get the advertised rate with my miles..

Lets do some math here.. So for $660 I can purchase the
trip US Airways will offer for 100k miles.. So that makes each “Mile” worth a 1/66th of a cent.. Man what a deal.. Its not even worth the time I spent on
the phone with the english as a 5th language lady trying to find out if I could use my miles..


Anwyay.. Jake if you read this
we are going to party it down when I get to Seattle.. SFO kids i’ll see you then..

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The SmokePot..

January 15th, 2006 Comments off

As much as I love the JP I really don’t think there is any hope for me going there as a non-smoker..
July 7th, 2005 I had the last cigarette of my life, and I feel so much better.. I can breathe now, I don’t cough up shit all the time.. It really makes me
wonder why the hell I smoked for so long before (12 years half Reds the other half Camels).. Sadly now I have become hyper-sensitive to smoke.. The last 3
times I have been to the JP my eyes have burned like hell.. I thought it would be different in the summer when the windows were open.. Well Friday after
the Hurricanes game (Penalty shot in OT for the win! Talk about awesome) it was 60F in Raleigh and I went to JP.. The windows were all opened so I
figured it wouldn’t be so bad.. I was supposed to meet someone down at Kings, but another friend who met me at the JP locked her keys in her car so I
waited at the JP with her until AAA came to get her keys out of her car.. This of course took over an hour as it typical for AAA.. At this point I stayed
at the JP since my friend at Kings said the show was over and was coming to meet me.. By this point I have had some unknown number of beverages.. It all
started with a Pitcher at Mitches around 500 and continued on until very late into the night.. So on to my point.. At some point I realized that my eyes
were really starting to burn.. I moved closer to the windows.. That didn’t help.. By this point I am getting vey furious.. I said some rude things to
people becaue I just wanted to get the hell out of the smoke.. I ended up standing infront of the JP for a while trying to get my eyes some fresh clean
air.. Why is it so hard in NC to go out, get plastered, see your friends, and not smell like an ashtray, much less have your eyes watering constantly
trying to fight off the 50/50 mix of air/smoke.. I don’t expect any of the bars here to venilate decently, and I highly doubt the laws will ever force
non-smoking areas in bars much less non-smoking bars.. It seems to have worked out OK in California, and NYC.. Beside I am sure it would be much easier
for others to quit if they had to go outside to smoke at a bar, and also weren’t constantly bombarded by it.. Hell I probbably would have quit earlier if
the laws made smoking less easy.. Fuck you Tobacco industry..

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C-Tran – Stranding Riders all over Cary

January 1st, 2006 Comments off

December 16th C-Tran (Carys public transit system) began using fixed routes.. I had always seen the
little purple buses around town, but they did me little to no good since they were a point to point system where you could call up and they would drive
you to where you wanted to go for $2.. You also had to call ahead of time, and it sounded like a complete pain in the ass..

Now with these new fixed routes there is a map and a schedule which made it seem more like a real public transit system.. I was pretty excited about it
especially since I was thinking I could use it to get to work instead of driving every freakin’ day.. I figured I would give it a whirl and go see a movie
yesterday at cross roads and use C-Tran to get there and back.. The plan only worked out 1/2 way.. Sadly C-Tran is a system only designed to strand you
across town..

We got picked up prompted on time near my house just as the schedule said, listened to the reggae show on shaw with the driver, and got dropped off right
at the movies.. What was even cooler then was that C-Tran is completely free until February.. I picked up a printed schedule as we left the bus just to
make sure I had one with me so we wouldn’t miss the bus to get back..

We saw the producers (which was awesome).. Will Ferrel is awesome (Be sure to buy Mein Kampf.. It’s available in paperback.. Borders.. Amazon dot com..)..
Walked across the interstate on the bridge on Walnut street which is not pedestrian friendly I might add.. We did some looking at Borders, grabed some
coffee and got out to the stop at 6:30 on Buck Jones..

There should have been 2 more busses coming.. Sadly we stood there.. Every Hummer that drove by looked like little purple C-Tran buses.. We ended up
standing there until 7:45.. I pulled out the trusty schedule and triple checked.. There should have been 2 more buses.. Sadly we got fucked.. It was quite
cold.. Especially since I had spilled a good ammount of coffee on myself and it was now just cold and wet.. I also didn’t bring a jacket since I didn’t
expect to be outside for over an hour!!!

We walked over to Thai Villa and got some take out and walked most of the way home.. We stopped at some office building and ate most of our curry, and
started our trek again.. We made it past the stupid mall, and right when we realized we were only halfway home we saw a cab.. On New Years Eve in Cary!
What luck.. I just looked at a map and it looks like that was about 2 miles we had walked so far since being stranded..

We called a good number of people, but sadly no one was coming to help.. We did have one offer from someone in Raleigh, but thats just too damn far to
drive.. We also tried to call a cab, but Cardinal Cab put me on hold for at least 10 minutes.. We figured if the hold time is that long the cab wait will
be even longer.. Cabs aren’t usually seen in the streets of Cary.. Those are allocated for Hummers and other large SUVs..

So yeah.. I just sent an email to Ray Bolyston about my first experience with C-Tran.. Nice eh? Real convenient.. What had turned out to be a free day
(C-Tran was free to get there, and the movie was paid for with free passes I got somewhere that expired that day), turned out costing 10 bucks for a ride
with a very inept cab driver who didn’t understand left from right..

So there is my first experience with public transit in Cary.. Something so simple.. I don’t understand how it is so damn hard to drive in a circle and
look for people standing next to a sign.. Thanks C-Tran.. Here is your first raving review..

For those interested in using C-Tran while your Hummer is in the shop here is a link for more information..

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